Dealing with Jealousy

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So you are enjoying a quiet dinner at the restaurant with your boyfriend, all love and romance oozing out of you. And in walks the femme fatale, your boyfriend’s ex-flame.

Now isn’t that like waking up from a happy dream by cold water splashed on your face? And while your boyfriend exchanges pleasantries with this monster in disguise (as you like to think of her), your blood boils to degrees that threaten to set the place ablaze.

No, not an uncommon scenario. Jealousy strikes where love exists. The question is how to limit the emotion to a level that will keep from damaging your relationship and the sanity of your partner.

Jealousy is useful, but in small measures. If none of your partner’s activities concern you in the slightest, it may question your very involvement in the relationship. Not to mention most women would be mortally offended if their boyfriends did not get jealous over other guys flirting with them!

It is when the emotion gets out of control that the trouble starts brewing. The obvious eventuality of jealousy is imagining all situations in the worst possible light. Jealousy leads to nagging, questioning and ultimately wrongly accusing your partner of things he/she is innocent of. Too much jealousy can, at best, damage beautiful relationships, and at its worst, break relationships.

Here are a few ways that will help you tackle this dreaded green monster!
Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember the grass always looks greener on the other side. You think your best friend’s boyfriend calls her more often than yours? Ask yourself why you are with your guy and not hers. You will realize your jealousy is baseless.

Respect yourself. Jealousy often crops from feelings of insecurity in yourself. You often wonder why your guy is with you with all those long legged beauties lining for him? Unless he is completely disillusioned, there is a good chance that he really loves you. Respect his feelings by looking at yourself the way he looks at you.

If something about your partner’s behaviour sets off the monster wild, talk it out with him. But do not sound angry and irritable as he may not necessarily be at fault. Communicating your feelings will make you feel closer and curb your jealousy.

Most important of all, trust your partner. Remember you would not be with him if he was not worth it.

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