Dealing With Secrecy In Children

All parents feel a special bond with their children and look on them with great love. It is something that cannot be defined.

When our children share their experiences, i.e. happiness, sorrows, troubles, doubts it increases our sense of happiness. You are very touched by this and feel more important and also believe that it is best for your child too as you can help out with your experiences.

However, it is not a matter of concern if your child does not share details of their life with you. It could be a growing up phase or just that your child wishes to experience his or her own lives or in general be a reserved person. In this situation, what you must do is first understand why, and then deal with it gracefully.

There may be innumerable explanations for why children may not wish to share their secrets. One it might be exciting for them, as they feel independent and grown up not telling their parents everything.

They might wish to have a separate set of things that they share only with their friends or siblings that relates to school or their age group. Also, if they feel that it is something parents may disapprove of they might not share it with you.

It is important to identify the reasons for not disclosing stuff. If it pertains to one’s peer group or just the idea of being independent, it is not a reason of concern. However, if it is something, you disapprove of or if it is to rebel against you then you should correct it.

Talk it out with your children. Let them know you are there for them, and that you understand that they need their space, and it’s ok not to tell everything to your parents. Emphasize that if at any point they feel they are in trouble they should immediately let you know.

Maintain the trust and respect your child has in you. Do not rife through their personal belongings like diaries and letters. Also, do not force the child to tell you information as this might turn them against you. Always be open and approachable.

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