How to Argue

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They say arguing with your partner in a relationship, is a healthy thing. But it can only be healthy as long as you know how to sort it out. There are always going to be times when you will want to storm at your spouse or go and hide somewhere far away from him/her. Needless to say, these are not the ways to solve your argument.

Arguments become nasty when they turn into personal attacks. With emotions of pain and rage coursing through you, it is a hard to take a rational stand. Keeping arguments impersonal would have been the best way to go about it, if not for the minor flaw of the task being nearly impossible. So here is what you can do after you have hurt, and gotten hurt in return, by your spouse.

The first thing to do is to calm yourself down. The traditional few deep breaths may not always do the trick here, so take a short walk or simply ask for time out. This way you can both sort out your emotions and handle the disagreement in a matured way.

Listen to what your spouse has to say. Do not interrupt. Do not express any opinions till he/she is done with the explanation. Then explain your side of the story. Apologize for your part in the mistake, as there are surely going to be wrong-doings on both sides in a fight. Learn to compromise and let go of your ego. Your gesture will be reciprocated.

There will be times when you realize your issues were not big enough to start a fight. Chances are your spouse is feeling the same. Take a chance. Ask your spouse if it is all right to just forget about the fight and carry on. An early end to an argument will be a welcome relief to both of you.

Do not use words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ when sorting out a fight. Remember, your aim is to solve the problem, not trying to make your spouse feel guilty.

Stick to the main issue. Do not unearth all the mistakes that he/she has ever committed in the past. Remember again, you want to solve your fight. Do not get into the blame game.

And when the time comes when you feel you don’t like each other, remember, you love each other.